Five years ago I spent a year living and studying at the University of Oklahoma in Norman. I know. Oklahoma. But you know what? I loved it. I loved living in the south. I loved how friendly people were. I loved being a Sooner. And while Oklahoma is incredibly country, Norman actually isn’t. And heck, I even liked the wide open spaces and the countryness of it all. You see, that is something we don’t really have in central Europe. I loved living in the South. And if I were to return there to live, the South would probably be the place of my choice. Or California.
It’s hard to believe that almost five years have passed since I came back to Germany. It was a great year. Those of you who know me a little will know that I feel very at home in the American culture, and I did there, too. I remember my roommate (also from my home university) and I talking about the students who only spent one semester there – how they had to leave just after settling in. And about how glad we were to get to spend another six months. Turns out, even those six months were awfully short in the end.
I remember how quickly the end of my time there came. I left behind a life I had gotten to love, a beautiful university campus, and a small group of friends that had gotten dear to me over the months I had known them. I never got a chance to go back but I tried my best to stay in touch with them. Since then, all of my friends there have graduated and moved away (though, conveniently, all but one moved to the Dallas – Fort Worth region). A few of them have gotten married, one had a baby last year, and they are all living the lives of responsible adults working full-time jobs.
I am finally graduating this summer and starting that life that they have been living for so long. I am hoping that when I have a decently-paying job, I will be able to visit my friends there. I never got to go back to Norman but I never stopped dreaming about it.
Ever since then, I had been wishing to go back to the States for another year or so after I graduate. I haven’t quite given up on that dream but I am not sure if I will be going back any time soon. I want to be able to support myself and I imagine that kind of internship would be hard to find. And long term, I am not sure I would be happy with the benefits a job in the US brings when in Germany, they are so much better (between 4 and 30 days of paid leave, no worries about health insurance, no hire and fire mentality, need I say more?). The reality of working in Germany (if you find a job which is going to be tricky with my humanities degree) is just a lot better. But if I were offered a good job in the US (and the matching visa), you bet I wouldn’t say no. At least for a few years.
It is so strange to think how much time has passed since then. My friends from Oklahoma are in completely different places in their lives now. And while I am still a student, and that sometimes makes me feel like I am still in the same place, I have changed so much since then. I have grown up, and while I am still not entirely sure what job I see myself working in in six months, I think I am in a different place now than I was then. I am more content with myself and with my life. I have much more figured out for myself, even though there is still so much more that I don’t have a clue about yet.
I think that it is no coincidence that over the years, the desire to move to the US has lessened a little. I still would, given the right opportunity, don’t get me wrong, but I also believe that I can have a very happy life in Germany. I believe that this is because I am more happy with myself as a person and because I have realized that life in Germany is better than I thought. I don’t feel the need to escape as much any more, and I have become aware of how much I would be leaving behind: my family and friends, Munich. I have realized that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Maybe the grass on both sides is not the exact same color but both sides are a healthy and radiant green.
This winter I found myself missing Norman particularly. You see, this feeling comes and goes. I think that it was probably related to the weather: one thing Norman did have was great weather. Except for the tornadoes. Though I must admit, the crazy side of me may have been a teensy bit disappointed that none ever came really close. That would have been so exciting! Yes, I realize that I am only saying that because I never got close to one.
In four weeks, after my first exam is over, I will be hopping on a train to Frankfurt to hang out with my Oklahoma roommate (the one who also came from Heidelberg). While we are as different as girls can be, we always got along surprisingly well, and have stayed in touch and met up as time allowed (though the last time was probably two or three years ago, before she started her job there).
I hope that one day soon, I will be able to do the same with my American friends in Texas and Oklahoma. Maybe I’ll even get to live there again for a short or long while. I know I’d love to!
Have you ever spent a year living abroad? Did you feel at home there, maybe even returned to make it home? And if you haven’t lived abroad, would you like to?
It’s the best thing to go abroad and keep those memories for many years. There is this nostalgia that might make me forget some negative aspects, but, all in all, I adored my stays in Paris and Boston and I have the urge to revisit these places pretty much all the time.
We’ll see what the future brings for us. I don’t necessarily have to live in a foreign country all my life, but I would work abroad for a couple of years.
How do you feel about Barcelona? Do you sometimes wish you were back there, too?
Thanks for your comment, Susi. I agree about the nostalgia. My year in Norman definitely also had its low points, but they’re not what I remember most.
I don’t really feel about Barcelona the same way. I think part of that is because I never felt as at home there. I definitely want to go back to visit, but I don’t see myself living there again. Not because the city isn’t beautiful, because it really is (and the city itself definitely offers more than Norman/OKC does). I think part of it is the language barrier that I never really overcame fully (and even if I spoke Spanish perfectly, there would still be the fact that technically, the first language spoken there is Catalan). I also don’t feel as at home in the Spanish (or Catalan) culture, and if I am perfectly honest, the safety aspect is also something that kept me from being able to fully enjoy living there. I felt like I always had to be on guard.
this is so beautifully written. i know exactly how you are feeling – you know my whole story about moving back to munich after my junior year, but maybe i haven’t been as detailed or really gotten into those memories. partially bc it may be too hard to look back on what was the best year of my life, and realize that even though i’m back here it’s not the same. part of me actually wishes i would have stayed in dallas, even though i was miserable there, so that i wouldn’t ruin my fantastic memories of munich. i guess it is just a reminder to make the most out of where you are living.
.-= texpat’s last blog post: t is for =-.
Thanks, Jessie. You know, maybe I wouldn’t enj0y the US as much if I went back there to live either. I do think that a year abroad experience during college is a unique experience. It’s like a break from your real life, a year-long vacation (even if you have classes to go to and homework to do). And in college, you are still pretty free from adult responsibilities. When you move somewhere, it is a little different in that you get to know the place a little better and start seeing the bad things as well. I am a little worried sometimes that if I moved to the US, I might stop loving the country as much as I do now, but at the same time, that wouldn’t stop me from moving (given the opportunity) because you never know for sure until you try.
You know my story! :)
Yes, I spent one year abroad. Yes, I felt home and yes, I returned and made it my home. Spending that one year in the USA was the most life-changing experience of my life and it still feels sureal sometimes thinking about where it has taken me.
.-= Stefanie’s last blog post: One hundred and six miles. =-.
Yeah I bet, Stefi! To think you met your husband in high school over there! Who would expect that when they go abroad for a year. So glad that your story had a happy ending and that Colin and you even got to live in Germany for a few years.
Move to California then come visit the desert in Arizona! :)
The only places I’ve gone outside of US is Canada & Mexico, unfortunately. I hope I can add more places to my list some day!
.-= steph anne’s last blog post: Spring Cleaning =-.
Thanks for your comment, Steph. You’re still so young, I am sure you will get the opportunity to travel further than North America. I have done very little traveling outside Europe as well (none actually, except for the US).
I’d love to visit the Grand Canyon some day. And pool temperatures in March? Yes, please!
what a lovely post =) I just moved from the US to Switzerland last November, so here I am, living abroad! Trying to learn German (oy)
Thanks for your comment, Krystal. I am glad you enjoyed reading my post. I have heard that German can be quite tricky to learn so good luck with that (plus the Swiss dialect, even Germans are lost trying to understand it!). How are you liking Switzerland so far?
Yah it’s definitely tough to learn! I learned Spanish all throughout school, oh how I wish I could learn that more instead :) And you’re right, even though I’m learning high German – I still won’t be able to understand the majority because they speak Swiss German – what a situation….but at least they might be able to understand me? :)
I’m loving Switzerland, it’s gorgeous and I love love love Luzern =)
.-= Krystal’s last blog post: google! =-.
Sorry I am commenting on this so late… I guess due to my trip to Germany I missed this post (it’s probably still sitting in my Google Reader).
I think you know my story, too, that I spend 6 months abroad and that I came back to live here (for obvious reasons ;)).
I can’t believe it’s been 5 years since we met up in SF… crazy!!
I definitely understand that you miss Norman (once you’ve lived some place else, you’ll always feel a little homesick for this place), but I also understand that you’re seeing the benefits of living and working in Germany.
As exciting it is to live in a different place, sometimes you forget that Germany is a pretty nice place to live as well… with a lot of good benefits, mind you! :)
Wherever life/work is going to take you after your graduation, I hope you can at least go back to visit!
.-= san’s last blog post: Retail therapy =-.
No need to apologize for a comment, I love them all, even if they’re made late. ;) I do hope I will get to visit extensively as well, if not live in the US again someday. And heck, maybe we’ll even get to meet up again someday, on my side of the pond or yours.
Just came across this post… Obviously a bit late!
I spent a lot of time abroad, and I did feel at home where I was, although not always. New York felt like home, and I always wanted to go back to stay.
Dublin, on the other hand, was like hell. I hated my job, and I had next to no friends there, so it made for a very unpleasant stay. Thankfully it was also short.
Sydney does feel like home, and after the exchange with uni 5 years ago, I’m back here. It’s always weird to be back after a while, because things change. I didn’t find the same people I met here the first time, I have a different life now, and it’s sometimes disappointing because I thought I’d come back to a memory, but I didn’t. I still love it here, life is beautiful, although I don’t see myself staying here forever, unless I find a really good reason (a very good job, or love). It’s just so far away from home, and in the end I think I’ll want to settle in Europe. Right now, I’m just taking time off real life…
.-= Stefania’s last blog post: 31/12/2009 =-.